To learn how to recover quickly after failures, it is necessary to be an optimist, because a positive attitude and belief in oneself and that difficulties are only a temporary phenomenon help to find a way out of any, even the most difficult situation. But it is unlikely that you will inspire yourself with an optimistic attitude to life, simply repeating to yourself: “I am an optimist, I believe that everything will be fine.” Martin Seligman, the founder and classic of positive psychology, in his popular book “How to Learn Optimism” argues that any inveterate pessimist can become an optimist, working on himself.The author suggests structuring them in the form of a model of NUP (Nuisance – Persuasion – Consequences).
As soon as trouble occurs, a person ponders what has happened and he develops certain beliefs. If a person is a pessimist by nature, his beliefs will have a pronounced non-constructive character. For example, if he is fired, he will say to himself: “I’m unlucky; I do not know how to work well; neither the leadership nor my colleague likes me; I hardly can find another job at all.
” As a result, he immediately drops his hands, he does not make any active attempts to find work, then – depression. Analyze some of the recent failures that you have encountered, write them down according to the NPM scheme with the consequences that led to pessimistic beliefs. Overcome this attitude to what is happening, Martin Seligman proposes, taking the next few steps. In this case, step 2 is an express method, and steps 3, 4 and 5 will allow to obtain a long-term effect. Step 2. Try to ignore the bad thoughts, reflect on something abstract As soon as you feel that bad thoughts drag you into your cycle, distract yourself with effort of will. Some people just need to clap their hands and loudly say to themselves: “Stop!”; Some forcefully pull and sharply release the rubber band that they put on their wrists.
After that, concentrate on some extraneous object or phenomenon, try to distract yourself. You can assign yourself a time when you will come back to thoughts about what happened, for example, the famous “I’ll think about it tomorrow” or “I’ll think about what happened tonight from 7 to 8 hours.”