The exhilaration of a new romance can turn even the most level headedperson light-headed and giddy.
Quiet often we are all wrapped up in theexcitement of a new relationship, that we ignore the Relationship Red Flags andit can happen to anyone. Relationship Red Flags serve as a warning that thisrelationship is not right for you and that you need to consider your options toend the relationship. While it’s tempting to make excuses for their badbehaviour and ignore these red flags. You will eventually fall into the trap oftrying to make a doomed or worse and abusive relationship work. Life istoo short and precious to share it with someone who belittles you, disrespects you;or only values you for sex, your appearance or your ability to earn money.
While this is not a fully comprehensivelist, below are five major relationship red flags that everyone needs to beaware of. 1. Quick to AngerYes, everyone does get angry at some point. Consider what is thefrequency and ruthlessness of your partners reactions? Are they using anger tocontrol or manipulate a situation? Is anger being used instil fear onto anotherperson? Using anger to create fear is a form of intimidation and control, whichwill take away your voice in the relationship. 2. Secretive or lyingbehavioursHonestly is essential for all healthy relationship to flourish. Being privateand being secretive are two different things.
Typically a private person willenjoy time alone, where as a secretive person will attempt to keep youcompartmentalised from certain areas of their life. When asked, a secretiveperson will shut down or refuse to share aspects of their life. If your partneris unwilling to communicate some of the lacklustre details of their life withyou. How will you be able to connect on a more intimate level? You will bealways left questioning what are they hiding? Emotional intimacy in a relationshipis knowing the details about your partner. 3. Possessive behaviourAsking questions like How was your day? Can feel normal and harmless.
Howeverwhen these questions become more invasive such as; Who were you with? What timedid you arrive at the café? When did you leave the café? Is a red flag foroverly possessive behaviour. Especially if these are coupled with aover-commitment to knowing your whereabouts. Unfortunately this is often misinterpreted as them caring for you. It’snot, they are disrespecting your boundaries.
Checking up on you when they know you are at work, the persistent callsor text messages or even showing up unexpectedly wherever you are, isharassment designed for them to gain control in the relationship. Leaving you isolated from your friends andfamily. Leaving you with no one to turnto when the relationship goes sour. 4.
Doesn’t say “I’m Sorry”This may sound like no biggie, butthe inability to say “I’m Sorry”when at fault does have far-reaching consequences. Refusing to apologise and beheld accountable is a red flag for the perception of inequality within yourrelationship. Inequality is either a projection of superiority, where they arenot responsible for any of the wrong doings. Or it can stem from a deep seededfeeling of inadequacy. By saying I’m sorry would expose them being vulnerable,leaving them open to criticism or rejection. A healthy relationship has bothpartners being held responsible for their actions and being able to openly talkabout how their actions affected them.
5. Gut FeelingsIt’s different for everybody, but it may feel like a funny tingle, orthat uneasy feeling that something isn’t right. Our bellies do more than justprocess the food we eat. Our digestivesystem is made up of a extensive network of neurons, that has been nicknamedour “second brain”. Scientists are beginning to discover that partof our emotions are influenced by the nerves in our gut. Intuition is a real thing, and we all have it. Whether your relationship has anyof these red flags or not, remember that you deserve to be happy more days thansad and it’s better to be single than to be hurt.
Ask for help if you need it.